Silence and Solitude in a Noisy Life

You read that silence and solitude are the disciplines modern Christians need most. So you sat on the edge of the bed, phone in the other room, eyes closed. About ninety seconds later you were planning lunch and wondering whether ninety seconds counts.

You are not bad at this. The first minutes are hard for almost everyone. Here is what each practice is, where Jesus withdrew, why chosen time alone helps, and a small place to begin tomorrow: two quiet minutes after a reading you already do.

What silence and solitude are, and how they differ

Solitude removes company. You go somewhere no one needs you for a while. You might still read or pray aloud. Silence removes speech and input. You stop talking, and you stop taking things in: no podcast, no music, no feed, no reading. You can be silent in a full house, and you can be alone in a room full of noise.

Older lists of the spiritual disciplines put both among the practices that work by subtraction. Our guide to what the spiritual disciplines are calls them abstaining disciplines: fasting removes food, silence removes speech, solitude removes company.

Richard J. Foster explains why the two belong together. In his essay “Understanding Solitude and Silence” at Renovaré, he writes that silence “creates in us an open, empty space where we are enabled to become attentive to God.” He also notes that both were once part of ordinary life and now have to be chosen and planned for. The research, as you will see, agrees.

Where Jesus withdrew: four passages, one pattern

The Gospels give no method. They show a habit.

Mark 1:35 sets the scene: “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed” (NIV). Luke 5:16 adds the word that matters most: “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Often means a pattern, not a single heroic night.

Matthew 14:23 shows the timing: “After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone.” He went after a day with the crowd. And in Mark 6:31 He extends the same thing to His tired friends: “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” The invitation there is to rest.

The pattern: early or after the crowd, alone, to pray or rest, then back to people. None of the four names a length of time.

In 1 Kings 19:11–13, the Lord was “not in the wind,” not in the earthquake, not in the fire, “and after the fire came a gentle whisper” (NIV). That is a story about Elijah at Horeb, not an instruction and not a promise that silence will produce a voice. It does show that Scripture can picture God’s presence without spectacle.

Why the first two minutes feel so long

Most first attempts at silence end with the mind somewhere else within seconds. That is normal.

In a 2014 paper in Science, Timothy Wilson and colleagues left college students alone for 6 to 15 minutes in a bare room, with phones and belongings stored away. Across six of those lab studies (146 students), 89.0% said their mind wandered and 57.5% said it was hard to concentrate, “even though there was nothing competing for their attention.” That was a lab task, not prayer, and the students were told to entertain themselves with their own thoughts. The disciplines guide covers the rest of that study.

A second reason: most time alone with God is full of words. In a 2022 Lifeway Research survey of 1,002 US Protestant churchgoers who attend at least monthly (online, September 19–29, margin of error ±3.3%), 65% said they intentionally spend time alone with God at least daily. Asked what they do in that time, they named praying in their own words (83%), thanking God (80%), praising God (62%), confessing sins (49%), reading the Bible or a devotional (39%), repeating a set prayer (20%) and considering God’s characteristics (18%). Almost every named activity is speaking or reading. Silence is not on the list.

Solitude is not isolation: what makes time alone help

Being alone is not automatically good for you. What matters is whether you chose it.

A 2023 study in Scientific Reports by Netta Weinstein and colleagues followed 178 adults aged 35 and over, living in the UK and US, through a 21-day evening diary between September 1 and November 4, 2022. On days with more time alone, people felt less stress and more autonomy. They also felt lonelier and less satisfied. But those costs were “nullified or reduced when daily solitude was autonomous (choiceful)” and did not pile up across days. The authors found no one-size-fits-all balance of time alone and time with others.

Keep the scope in view: this was ordinary time alone, not prayer or a spiritual practice, measured by self-report, and it shows associations rather than proof of cause. Still, it fits Foster’s point: solitude you choose and then leave, the way Jesus went up the mountain and came back down, differs from isolation that happens to you. If time alone has started to feel heavy rather than restful, our Bible verses about loneliness may be the better place to start today, and so may a phone call to a friend.

Not the first discipline: add quiet to a reading you already have

Do not start with silence. Our disciplines guide says so, and we still mean it. Silence is hard to begin from nothing, because there is nothing to come back to when your mind runs off.

Start with Scripture instead. Once a daily reading is in place, silence has something to rest on. Read the chapter, close it, and stay where you are for two more minutes without saying anything or picking anything up. If you do not have a regular time with God yet, how to have a quiet time with God sets up the time, the place and the reading. This post only adds the last two minutes.

The aim of those minutes is not an emptied mind. Psalm 62:5 has the psalmist speaking to himself: “Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him” (NIV). The quiet is for rest in God, not a performance.

A ladder of sizes, from two minutes to a morning

A silent retreat day is a fine thing to do one day, but a poor first step. Here is a ladder, smallest rung first.

Stay on a rung as long as you like. There is no level to reach. Two minutes after your reading is a real practice.

Missing a day does not undo anything either. We wrote about why streaks make people quit and what grace does instead. The same applies here: tomorrow’s two minutes are just as good as if you had never stopped.

What to do when your mind runs off

It will. What matters is the next step.

• Notice, without scolding. “I drifted” is enough. No commentary.
• Come back to the chapter. Pick one phrase you just read and return to it. This is where reading first earns its place.
• Keep the phone out of reach. Face down in another room, not in your lap.
• Let the time end when it ends. Two minutes, then get up.

If you want a structured way to stay with a single verse, how to meditate on Scripture walks through it. Silence is simpler than that. It is staying.

We are app builders, not pastors. What God does in the quiet, and whether longer retreats or contemplative forms of prayer fit your tradition, are good questions for your own church. If you are looking for one, the BlessUp church finder lists churches by US city.

Frequently asked questions

What is the difference between silence and solitude?

Solitude removes company: you are alone, though you may still read or pray aloud. Silence removes speech and input: no talking, audio, feed or reading. You can practise either without the other.

How long should I practice silence and solitude?

Neither Scripture nor the research sets a length. Start with two quiet minutes after your daily Bible reading, then ten minutes, a phone-free walk alone, or half a morning. Those sizes are our suggestion, and the first rung is a real practice.

Is silence and solitude biblical?

The practice is. Mark 1:35, Luke 5:16 and Matthew 14:23 show Jesus going off alone to pray, often, and in Mark 6:31 He invites His disciples to a quiet place to rest. For how your tradition approaches silence, ask your pastor.

What do I do when my mind wanders in silence?

Notice it without scolding yourself, and come back to one phrase from the chapter you just read. Wandering is normal: in lab studies of students left alone for 6 to 15 minutes, 89.0% said their mind wandered.

Should a beginner start with silence and solitude?

Usually not. Silence is hard to begin from nothing, because there is nothing to return to when your mind runs off. Start with a daily Scripture reading, then add a little quiet to the end of it.